Missing You

Fourteen years...It's been a long time since I've heard your voice. I remember being in a crowd of thousands, but your's was the one voice I could hear over all the others; and at times I still do.

It's been a long time since we went to out to dinner or watched a movie together. I remember coming home and you would be watching some movie on cable. Instead of going to bed, I would sit down on the couch and watch along with you. The movie Miracle was on TV the other day. I know that you would love it. We would talk about Mike Eruzione and when we first met him at the Sports Arena.

I miss going out to dinner with you. Even though you were a great cook, you still loved to go out and eat. I go to Bob Evans in the summer and order your favorite dish -- their Chicken Salad Plate and think of you. Holidays and family gatherings just aren't the same without you. I have given up thinking that they ever will be. We tried, but everyone grieved in their own way. We've splintered over the years. You wouldn't be happy with us. Now, we try to have our own family traditions for our children -- ones that measure up to the traditions you created for us. I don't know if I am succeeding...

It's been 14 long years since you've given me advice on marriage, raising kids or life. My heart aches at how much you've missed. Just the playing of the National Anthem at Megan's graduation brought me to tears because I know that had you been there...had you been there, you would have brought your cowbell and would be ringing it at the "home of the free" part and when she walked across the stage.

A friend sent me a picture. I knew it was coming, but as I opened up the envelope, the tears began to flow. I was caught off guard by my emotions. It was a picture that I hadn't seen before. Suddenly, we were back in time to my senior year of high school. And for once, you weren't behind the lens of the camera. (I know where I get it from -- mother like daughter) It wasn't a posed shot that you arranged. You were casually walking towards a friend. And maybe that is what did me in. Because more than all the other arranged snapshots that I have of you, this -- this is the way that I remember you; in the everyday little stuff.

Sometimes, I wish that I had a day with you again just to talk--mostly about the kids. I know it would not be enough time to get your advice. But at the same time, I know exactly what you would say to me; how I should handle the situation. I know because you taught me well. You were always consistent in your advice, whether it was to family or friend.

And I know that I would be kidding myself in thinking that one day would be enough. Someday, we will have all of eternity together. I know that -- God's promises are true! As Believers, we know that once we leave this earth, we are in the prescence of our Lord Jesus Christ. And when my time comes, I somehow imagine you giving Him a second to welcome me home...and maybe even elbowing Him out of the way! ;) Then, I will have all the time I need to catch up with you :) Until then, I miss you, Mom!

Morning has broken...

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you.

Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.

Psalm 143:8

New Shoes

Just before school started, we bought new shoes. A pair for me and a pair for Erin. I got to wear my shoes one time.

"Can I try your shoes to see if they fit better?" And I haven't worn them again. They have taken a beating - running five miles a day. They have been out in the rain and through the mud. They are now exclusively cross country shoes.

We are in the teen stage of life where your kids run you ragged...and they can even run your shoes ragged too!

Boys!

I had an impromptu photo shoot of my nephews in my in-laws front yard -- what fun! They were rolling and tumbling all over each other and I just kept taking pictures!

Under the Sea

Steve and the girls had a lot of fun at our Daddy-Daughter Dance! I am thankful that the girls still think that their dad is cool and wanted to go out on a date!

How do you define it?

Time.

You never have enough of it.

Time - do you spend it or do you invest it?

It goes by too slowly when you are sick. Even slower when you are pregnant or waiting for a teenage driver to get back home from prom.

Time goes by too quickly when you are on vacation. Even faster when you are out on a date with your husband.

Time - days into months; into seasons; into years; into decades.

A while back, my dear friend Heather, mentioned on the Praisebooking message boards about something from the 60's being "vintage". I thought that was rather funny. I was born in 1965 and never considered myself "vintage". We enjoyed teasing Heather about her choice of words. It could have been worse.

Antique. Classic (that's not really offensive though). But today, really took the cake!

As I pulled out of the Meijer's parking lot, I admired a black Z-28 with gold trim. I am not great at guessing the year of a car. My rough estimate would place it at late 70's to an early 80's model. It was nearly perfect, except for the fact that it was missing a bumper. This car was would have been the envy of every young man that I went to school with. (I graduated in 1984.)

I was smiling until I looked at the license plate. It was a historical plate!

What?! How can something that was made many years after I was born be considered "historical"?

Now, vintage isn't sounding offensive to me. After all, fine wines are often called vintage and vintage cars are valuable.

Help Wanted: Experienced Groundkeeper Needed Now!

My groundskeeper is on vacation.

Actually, my teenage son who cuts the grass is off at volunteering at camp. For two, very long weeks. That has given us the opportunity to re-organize the troops and have others pick up his jobs.

Here is the dilemma. Out of our family of five, the oldest daughter is on a 10 day mission trip to Brazil. The only other male in the family was travelling this week on business. That left the dog, who only leaves landmines in the yard, and my 14 1/2 year old daughter. We have sworn that she will never be able to drive while she lives at home. (The daughter, not the dog) She enjoys speed way too much. And, since we value our riding mower and the trees around our home, it was left up to me.

We've had a week of hot temperatures here in Michigan. Think sauna, greenhouse, rainforest type weather. Perfect for making the grass grow quickly. When I finally got a day away from my PT work, the grass was over due to be cut. I had to break up the job due to previously a scheduled appointment and the forecast called for rain. Not good. Sure, I could cancelled my appointment, but I figured that touching up the roots of my hair was more important than the lawn! My husband wouldn't agree, but I could live with long grass; not with dark roots!

We live in a subdivision. One neighbor has a "real" lawn service come in and do their lawn. Another neighbor loves to do his lawn. His lawn should be in an ad for Scott's Turfbuilder. I have witnessed him out on his mower in March. He's like one of those people who enjoys to exercise every morning at 4 a.m. You step back and shake your head in wonder and envy; wishing you could be a little more like him.

As I pushed the mower out of the garage I was beginning to feel that I was not up to the task. I was a bit out of my element. Maybe, I could let the lawn go four more days until the groundskeeper returned...No, that wouldn't do. I sat down on the mower and literally had to read the instruction labels for nearly five minutes before I could get the machine started!

I finally eased off the driveway and onto the grass. It took over 90 seconds to figure out how to engage the blades. Engaging the blades was not listed anywhere in the instructions! The blades were labeled in symbols, and not in very good ones at that! Some engineer must have thought it would be easier to label in symbols rather than words...NOT!

One important fact: My legs aren't as long as my son's or my husband's. When I tried to ease off the brake, I would jerk like a teen learning to drive a stick shift! Or like a cowboy coming out of the shutte at rodeo! If our neighbors were at home, I was the cheap entertainment for the afternoon. I never did quite get the hang of easing off the brake. I was a greenhorn in the lawn rodeo!

Later, I looked like a NASCAR driver at the Indy 500. We have a hill in our yard, that intimidated the daylights out of me. There was no way that I would try to drive back up that hill once I came down it. So, I'd drive all the way around the house at the highest speed to come down making another cutting pass.

Our mower is a regular riding mower. Not one of those fancy things that can turn on a dime. (We'll probably get one of those when our son goes off to college and my husband takes the lawn back over.) Our mower requires some backing up in order to keep the lines even. Let's just say that my pattern that started out as a rectangle was turning into an oval. It was not looking like anything I had seen the neighbors do. Nor my son for that matter.

I was beginning to worry about if I was doing it "right" or what my son would say when he returned home. If I was lucky, maybe they would feel sorry for me and ask me not to do it the next time. Halfway through the job, I resolved in my mind that it didn't matter the pattern or if it was like everyone elses lawn in the neighborhood. I decided that I needed to embraced my free for all patterns and go against the flow lawn cutting methods. If I saw a patch of grass I missed -- I'd just drive over to it and mow it down! If I was a figure skater, I'd get high marks for using up all of the ice and for the flow and gracefulness to my routine!

It rained halfway through the job. I stopped long enough to come inside and put on a dark T-shirt. Then, I want back out in the rain to keep going. The rain stopped after a few minutes and I was able to finish up without anymore problems.

The grass should be cut again on Monday.
My groundskeeper returns home on Monday.
Maybe I need to consider giving him a raise....